The Secret Lives of Police Cruisers
by Carlough
Summary: Have you ever spotted a police cruiser and wondered, "What if...?" This is that "what if." This is Prowl and Barricade, meeting when they can, where they can, and however they can. Not even a war can separate some lovers. ProwlxBarricade SLASH, Two-shot.
1. The Love of Ducks

**This is a short two-shot based off of real-life events. By that, I mean that the events of both parts are things I actually witnessed. Who hasn't seen a police cruiser and thought of Prowl? Exactly, so these are ficlets spawned by times I've seen police cruisers in real life that I thought could make good stories. All of these events occurred, but sadly in real life the cruisers were actual police cars driven by actual officers, but other than that, all of this happened. These are just my creative views on what **_**could**_** have been occurring.**

**This first part happened Monday in the parking lot of a local fast-food place where a lot of the local cops like to get their coffee. I happened to be there when they were all making their rounds through the drive thru, and thought this was a nice Prowl/Barricade moment. This is slash, and I suck at romance – you have been warned.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers or any of its characters, or the events of this story – can anyone really own a real-life event?**

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An overcast sky loomed above on the windy late-summer day. Along a busy, bustling street were a few fast-food restaurants, and in one of their parking lots sat a lone police cruiser. It stayed parked there while other cruisers came and left, their occupants talking jovially while they ordered their daily coffee from their favorite place.

The lone cruiser didn't enter the drive thru like the others, but remained parked in the back of the lot. It was waiting for someone.

_He_ was waiting for someone, and he really hoped that the certain someone would make an appearance.

It wasn't too long until another of the identical police cruisers entered the lot. Instead of moving towards the drive-thru, this one drove to the back of the parking lot and backed into a space so it was next to the first cruiser, completely parallel to it and less than two feet away from it. To any passersby, this would appear to be two cops talking with each other. In a way it was.

These two "cops" just happened to not be on the same side. In fact, they were supposed to be mortal enemies. But sometimes, not even the difference between warring factions can quell the attraction between two soldiers.

The new cruiser settled back on its shocks and its engine rumbled in annoyance. The other spoke to him over a com. link.

"I'm glad you came."

"What, did you think I wouldn't?" the other replied snarkily.

The first sighed. "It's not like you haven't stood me up before. I have a reason to be unsure."

"Yeah, well I'm here. You telling me you'd rather I leave?"

"No, no, I'm happy you're here. I...I missed you, Barricade."

"...Yeah, well I guess I, uh...I missed you too. But not a lot."

"Of course not," the first of the pair, the Autobot, replied, but there was a slight smug tone to his quiet response.

"Shut it, Prowl. Stop sounding so pleased with yourself. It's too Decepticon-y."

"'Decepticon-y?'"

"You and your slagging grammar. I dunno, Decepticon-like? Decepticon-esque? Do these _please _you?"

"Yes, they please me very much. Thank you for the corrections; they're very kind of you."

"Yeah, yeah. So why're we hanging around a bunch of squishies?"

"There is no place nearby where we could meet in our root modes without drawing attention to ourselves. Many of the local police force come here for their daily sustenance, so two similar police cruisers won't seem out of place."

"Oh, so our meetings are solely for the convenience of the squishies. I see how it is." If it was possible, it seems as if the parked, unmoving police car turned its head away like a pouting child.

"Barricade..." Prowl sighed. It was never easy between them; nothing ever was. There were arguments, constant fights about everything from the wrongness of their relationship to how annoying one of their personality traits were. The pair fought on and off the battlefield, yet they still had these meetings, these hidden, covert meetings where they just talked, and it was...nice. They just spoke, and they playfully bantered without any venom. Well, almost none.

A pair of female ducks waddled down the grass near the two parked Cybertronians-in-disguise. They slowly made their way down the lawn to the lot and slowly made their way across it, stopping idly in front of Prowl to pick at some crumb on the pavement. The tactician watched in silence.

"I don't want us to fight," he murmured to the Decepticon. _His_ Decepticon. Their relationship, it may have been wrong, it may have been immoral and traitorous and unhealthy, but in their own way, it worked.

Barricade remained silent. He knew he shouldn't be with a slagging Autobot – he should be shooting him on sight, not loitering near a bunch of squishies with him! But here he was. Every time they had one of these meetings Barricade insisted that he would never again see the Autobot outside of the battlefield. That he would never look at him differently from other Autoscum, that he would shoot at him just as soon as he would another of his enemies. That it was over.

It was never over, it never could be over. Neither of them could let it be over, because, as unwilling as they were to admit it, they cared for each other. They cared for each other on a deeper level than anyone would have believed. They were Autobot and Decepticon, and yet they had found a way to tolerate each other, to be peaceful, to care for each other, to maybe even eventually love each other.

Love – that would be a long way off. But they would have time, because loathe they both to admit it, neither Prowl nor Barricade would give up these short meetings for the universe.

"I need to go," Barricade finally murmured. "Megatron is expecting me." His voice had calmed as he spoke. Prowl was forgiven, and he was truly regretful to be leaving. All of their meetings were like this: short, uneventful, and they always ended abruptly, but they were better than nothing.

"I'll be seeing you," his companion replied. Barricade began to pull out of the parking lot, and stopped when two creatures wandered into his path.

"What are these..._organic things_?"

Prowl chuckled. "They're called ducks; they're semi-aquatic avian creatures."

"Right." But Barricade didn't crush them and continue on as one would have expected. Maybe it was to keep his cover or maybe he didn't want to be cleaning off the gore later, but Prowl liked to think that he was waiting because one some level he didn't mind the ducks too much. That maybe one day he wouldn't mind humans so much, either.

He could dream, couldn't he?

Barricade left the lot as soon as the ducks had made their way passed. Prowl remained, watching as one of the creatures pulled a piece of trash from a storm drain and gulped it down.

The ducks continued their waddle through the lot, coming surprisingly close to three humans who were conversing near their vehicles. They were genetically related, if Prowl's scans were correct. One of the ducks approached a girl, and she knelt in front of it, only an arm's reach away, and the pair simply stared at each other.

Prowl wished Barricade could have seen this, seen how two species, so vastly different, could coincide so well. Sure, humans often killed ducks on accident and sometimes purposely hunted them, but this meeting of the species, so simple and unplanned and innocent, was strangely sparkwarming to the tactician.

Humans destroyed their own world, sure, but they had their good moments, too. Like now. If more humans could be like this, maybe Prowl could prove their worth to his...his lover. Maybe he could redeem them in his beloved's optics, and maybe, just maybe by some twist of fate and help from Primus he could sway his secret love to the Autobots and then nothing would need to be hidden.

A few raucous humans left the establishment, talking loudly. One of them stopped and looked at the ducks, talking loudly to it. "Hey, duck. Man, I really want to pick one of 'em up." As he moved toward the duck, it moved away, as anyone could have expected.

The ducks moved farther away as the group of humans left, but soon returned to the trio talking in the lot. So easily forgiven was humankind. Maybe there was hope for the humans yet – and maybe there was hope for Cybertronians as well.

Prowl continued watching idly as the two ducks sat together unassumingly in the parking lot, in the middle of a well-used lane. They were so assured of their safety. The SIC wished his own life was that easy. He wished that he could just be sure that he would be okay no matter his location, and that Barricade was too. Life would have been much easier that way, that was for sure.

With a weary sigh the tactician "started up" his engine and made his way out of the parking lot. Like Barricade, his leader would be expecting him soon. He spared one last glance at the ducks before entering the line of traffic.

Eventually the girl and her group left as well, as did many others. Two ducks remained in the now almost-empty lot. They sat together, pressed against each other, and rested, unaware and uncaring of their watchers or possible danger. They were together, and that was all that mattered.

If Prowl and Barricade could only have that simplistic contentment, then maybe everything would turn out right after all.

Who knew? Ducks can be some of the best role models.

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**Yes, the ducks were there, and the guy wanting to pick up the duck, and all of the cops. Yes, a cop actually did have to slow down and let the ducks pass him, and two cruisers were off in the corner of the lot, their drivers talking. Other than that, let me just say this: this is the first time I did a self-insert story. ;) You can figure that out for yourself.**

**I'll have the second part up within a few days. Reviews are loved!**


	2. Beautiful

**Sorry this took so long – school started and it's killing me and my creativity. And this is short, but I like it enough.**

**This was another thing I saw, two cruisers waiting for speeding cars along the highway at sunset. My first thought was, "Who's Prowl on a date with?" That was before the events of the first chapter occurred.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers or any of its characters, or the events of this story – can anyone really own a real-life event?**

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The sun was setting on the highway, and a pair of lovers was making the most of the rainbow of warm hues that was the last dying rays of the giant star setting upon the horizon. Cars sped down the road, slowing rapidly as they passed by the pair of cop cars sitting on a patch of grass between the highway and an on-ramp.

"Why are these humans so...nervous?" asked one cruiser of the other over their private com. link.

"They are used to their own 'police officers' staking out busy stretches of highway such as this so they may catch humans who are breaking the laws about how fast humans may drive their vehicles. They call the infraction 'breaking the speed limit' and the punishment is a 'ticket,' a fine that must be paid to the government which is meant to teach a lesson to the law-breaker."

Barricade took all of this in, wondering at how he had fallen for such a tight-aft. Not fallen for, though, because he really didn't love the Autobot or anything. He just didn't want to be anywhere other than with him and couldn't imagine living without him.

But that wasn't love. It was just...un-hate. Really powerful un-hate that made his spark flutter giddily.

"That's...enlightening," the Decepticon murmured. "And completely stupid. Why should they care so slagging much about what their government thinks?"

Prowl chuckled lightly, resting back on his shocks and ex-venting contentedly. He loved this side of 'Cade, this quirky banter and these sarcastic jibes that held no malice. It proved that there was hope for the Decepticon yet, that maybe Barricade really did care for him. After all, he hadn't shot at Prowl in quite some time off the battlefield. That was progress.

"Humans in this country tend to be strict about the upkeep of their laws, at least when it comes to bad driving habits. Then again, the police officers seem to love to hand out tickets – it gives the local government more funds, after all."

Barricade grunted in reply, spending more of his time ogling Prowl. Even in his alt mode the orange-red sunset positively glowed on the pristine white paint of his Autobot's hood, making it glow like molten metal. It was...gorgeous. He couldn't think of a better, less-Autobot word to describe the way his lover – er, his companion looked.

"Enjoying the view?" came the amused voice of his lovely Autobot – and he didn't really think that, seriously he didn't. At first Barricade was put out that Prowl had caught him staring, but he then realized that the tactician was referring to the sunset.

"Oh – yeah. The star is very nice to look at while it appears to leave the planet's atmosphere."

If Prowl had been in his root mode, he would have been smiling widely. "That's all you have to say? You know, the humans think of it as one of the most romantic things about their planet."

Barricade scoffed, "What? How is a flaming mass of gas _romantic_?"

The Autobot just laughed at him again, and if it had been any other Cybertronian in the universe Barricade would have beat the living slag out of them. But this was Prowl, his Prowl, and the carefree sound of his Autobot's laugh was one of the most beautiful sounds he had ever heard.

"You need to see the bigger picture, as the humans would say. They see it as a lovely sight to behold, not just a flaming ball that works as their energy source. They're very aesthetic, humans, and sometimes that's a bad thing, and sometimes it's good. They appreciate the beauty of a polluted atmosphere separating the colors that make up their Sun's 'rays' of light, even though it is formed by something negative, because the end image is beautiful to look at. Humans often think of beautiful sights as being romantic. They like to consume their sustenance by sunset with their chosen mate, and some even plan events to occur at this time of day due to the sunset. I hear they even propose bonding by it at times."

The Decepticon snorted as if he found the whole thing stupid, but the sentiment was maybe just the littlest, tiniest bit..._romantic_. There was that word again, that terribly _Autobot_ word. Decepticon didn't have romance – they had no concept of the term! Only Autobots cared about romance and the slag connected to it.

But he was, for all intents and purposes, "dating" an Autobot, as those squishies would say, and Autobots were all about their romantic slag, so he had an excuse to be pathetic and romantic when it came to wooing his Autobot. At least, that's what he told himself.

"So do you have a new view of it?" Prowl asked, shaking him from his thoughts. "The Sun, I mean?"

Barricade stared at Prowl as the sun fell halfway beneath the horizon, casting everything in that still, red glow that seemed to pause a moment in time.

"Yes. It's beautiful."

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**And that's my attempt at romance. Hope you enjoyed it. A review would be nice.**


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